noteful: (z what God has joined together)
"How many shades of lipstick do I have on my cheek?" Meg asks.

The last of the guests has finally made it through the receiving line, and the bridal party has taken a moment to catch its collective breath after the whirl of thank you for being here and it was a lovely ceremony (and, from Laura to Alain, do not be a jerk).

Kim smiles. "A few," she allows. "Do you want help with that before your grand entrance?"

"And all the pictured thereof?" Meg asks. "Yes, definitely. Thank you. We'll be right back," she tells Alain.

He reaches out and catches her hand. "Hurry back. You owe me a dance."

The dance in question is to The Beatles' "Michelle." It may not exactly be a traditional choice, but it's in both English and French and includes Alain's nickname for her, and they like it. Alain is fond of humming it while they do things like fix dinner. (And it's certainly a better choice than that silly Bryan Adams Robin Hood movie song that the radio stations won't stop playing.)

There are other people Meg "owes" dances to as well: her father and Alain's father, Luc and Oncle Sylvain. And Carlisle, who asks her for what would probably be a very proper waltz if Meg knew how to dance a very proper waltz. She's quite sure that Carlisle does, but he's very gracious about leading her through steps she's not exactly getting right, and is probably doing a great deal of compensating for her missteps. When the song ends he returns her to Alain, and thanks them both. "Now you get to spend the rest of your lives realizing how lucky you are," he tells them before he goes.

"I think your friend is having fun," Alain says, wrapping an arm around her waist, and Meg looks over her shoulder to see what he's looking at, and then laughs. On the far side of the dance floor, Castiel appears to have been adopted by three of Alain's young cousins. (Meg knows their names are Hélène, Laetitia, and Virginie, though she doesn't know which name goes with which cousin). The four of them are dancing in the unself-conscious and fairly ridiculous manner of ten-year-olds and (apparently) Angels of the Lord.

There's no sit-down meal, though there's also no shortage of food. Not for most people, anyway, though Meg and Alain can't quite seem to get enough of a break from talking to people and dancing and photographs to actually get any of it themselves. Meg is starting to wonder how to go about remedying that when Parker arrives with a very full plate and hands it to Alain.

"You two need to eat something," she says. "Can't have the bride and groom fainting at the reception. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that's considered bad luck. And those little puff things by your thumb are excellent."

"Thank you," Meg says.

"Eat," Parker repeats. "I'm going to go say hi to the cute boy over in the corner."

Alain looks over to the corner. "That's my cousin Thierry. He doesn't speak English."

"Pfft," Parker says as she goes, with a wave of her hand that implies a common language is far from necessary.

Then again, this is Parker, so it may not be.

Several minutes later, when Parker is dancing with Thierry, and Alain has gone to get rid of the now-empty plate, Meg takes a moment to just look around the room and try to fix all this in her memory. It's all going by so fast.

"Hello, Meg," someone says from just behind her shoulder.

Hello, Edward. Meg turns around, and smiles. I suppose if I forget anything, I can always ask you to remind me.

Edward's smile has the edge of a smirk. "How thorough you like me to be? Should I prepare a journal with all the things you've missed?"

Meg smiles. No. Not all of them. Only the good ones.

When the DJ takes his break, Luc takes the microphone to make the toast. In addition to being the best man, the groom's brother is, after all, an actor and a performer. He is also fluent in English, and he essentially provides his own simultaneous translation throughout, moving easily from one language to the other, so no one will be left out.

"Mesdames et monsieurs, ladies and gentlemen, a moment of your time, please. Thank you," he says, as the the chatter in the room falls away. "My brother's first girlfriend was a girl called Anastasie." Beside her, Meg hears Alain groan, faintly and without anything much like sincerity. "She had long blonde braids and somewhat crooked teeth, and Alain talked about her all the time. They were six."

Luc pauses, and then continues. "After Anastasie, when he was older, Alain tended to be a little . . . cooler, about his girlfriends. Not quite so effusive. Until one evening, when he he showed up at a bar with this redhead he'd met in the audience of a play I had been in at university. And the next day, did he have anything to say what way, I must say, a rather performance by his only brother? Oh, no. All he wanted to talk about was this girl. How beautiful and intelligent and charming and kind and wonderful she was.

"And as far as I can tell, he has not shut up about her since, though he has decided she is even more beautiful and intelligent and charming and kind and wonderful than he initially thought.

"So, Meg, thank you, for giving my brother someone to talk about the way he talks about you, and welcome to the family. And Alain, I hope that you will always have as much to say about Meg as you do now. Just perhaps not always to me."

Luc raises his glass. "To the bride and groom. May you have every happiness."

"Merci, Luc," Meg says, reaching up to kiss her brother-in-law's cheek when he joins them a moment later. "That was lovely."

"You're welcome. Did you get lipstick on my cheek?"

"Only a little," Meg promises.

There's a small bouquet of roses that the florist has provided for Meg to throw, as she didn't carry one in the ceremony. There's a great deal of good-natured jostling and laughing, but Meg throws it quite deliberately to Kim.

The flowers from the prayer book she carried down the aisle, though, she gives to Laura, quietly and away from the main bustle of the party. "I want you to have these."

"Oh. I -- thank you. They are very pretty," Laura says. After a second, she adds, "I am sorry they will die." There's a longer pause, and then she says, "You will tell me what I am supposed to do with them?"

"Take them home, and keep them as long as you like," Meg says. "There's a superstition that whoever catches the bride's bouquet will be the next person to get married, but I didn't throw them and you didn't catch them. I just want you to have them. Because you're a good friend, and you've come a very long way to be here."

"You helped. It is important," Laura says. And, being very careful with the flowers, she hugs Meg.

All in all, it's everything Meg could have asked of her wedding day, with the possible exception of its refusal to slow down.

"Do you feel a little like this whole day has passed in twenty minutes?" she asks Alain, when the cake has been cut (and most decidedly not smashed into anyone's face) and they've made their farewells and left in a flurry of birdseed and confetti and cans rattling on the back of Alain's car.

"More like fifteen," Alain says. "But it was perfect."

"It was, yes," Meg agrees.

In every way.
noteful: (in her own quiet way)
Meg doesn't think either of them ever suggested that they make lunch a standing appointment, but it seems to have become one. It's easier, maybe, to have structure and a pattern, to not have to make a conscious decision about when to knock on the door between their rooms. Or maybe it's just a habit they fall into for no reason, if a "habit" can be said to form in under a week. (Meg thinks it can, in this case anyway. Five days in their current situation is a lot longer than five days at home.) Regardless of how it happened, though, it happened.

Conversation gets easier, though it never gets to easy. Part of that, Meg would guess, is that they don't have that much to talk about at the best of times and the innocuous topics you discuss with people you don't know well just don't work all that well right now. Like sports, which they can discuss only in broad terms -- as a nineteen-year difference in starting points means you can't exactly trade notes on who's in the lead in the American League Central Division. (Especially considering there is no American League Central Division in Meg's day, and won't be for another half dozen years).

Pop culture, if they talk about her era, works fairly well. Movies that she saw in the theatre in the last six months are things he watched as a kid -- Indiana Jones and James Bond -- but at least they've both seen them. Music, too, for the same reasons; television less so, because she just doesn't watch all that much of it.

As far as personal questions, she doesn't ask much beyond how are you?, reasoning that, like the leaving the room, he'll bring things up when he wants to, if he wants to. She doesn't know if that's a cowardly approach to take, but the one time they even came close to it, he shut down faster than she's ever seen anyone do. And she's fairly certain that that will not help, so she doesn't push. She joins him for lunch every day, she gives him an opportunity to talk, and if they discuss nothing more personal than their opinions on Connery vs. Moore vs. Dalton vs. that Australian who only did the one movie, well, so be it.

She still does more of the talking than he does, but she would no longer say she does most of it. She thinks Dean is making more of an effort at his part of the conversation, but it's also obviously an effort. As she told Castiel, it's like talking to a Dean who remembers that he used to be a different Dean, but can't quite remember how to. And when she asks him how his first visit down to the main bar went, she gets something close to a self-depreciating smile and the statement, "I'm a little rusty," followed by a pause that's a beat too short, and then a far-from-smooth change of topic.

They play a lot of cards, hand after hand of poker, betting with M&Ms until she thinks to get poker chips from Bar. It's low pressure human interaction, and it provides its own topic of conversation, both of which Meg would put on its pros list. On the cons list would be that she tends to lose -- Dean wins three out of five hands the first day and closer to four out of five by the fifth. Meg knows how to play -- she's never going to do something like put three aces and two queens on the table and ask, "Is this good?" -- but she's risk adverse enough that she tends to fold fair to middling hands quickly. (Dean is possibly more aware of that fact that she is.)

Dean seems tired in a drained sort of way, and fidgety, often spinning poker chips or tapping his foot, not quite still. Aside from taking the tray from her each day, so she can get her chair, he doesn't come all that close to her. When she's dealing, he waits till she's picked her cards up before reaching for his hand. When he's dealing, she follows his lead and waits until his hands are clear of the table before taking her cards.

She stays a little longer each day, but when it's not hard to tell when it's time to leave -- Dean and the conversation both show the strain, and for all Meg knows, she does, too. And then she and the tray and her chair go back to her room.

They're not friends -- they weren't before all this happened, and she doesn't really expect them to be when it's over, whenever that is. The best analogy she can find for it (and she's looked) is that she feels like his caseworker from some sort of Heavenly Ministry of Community and Social Services.

Castiel comes by every so often, knocking on the front door and waiting for her to open it, now. He asks about Dean, and she gives him variations on the same answer -- Dean seems a little more at ease than the day before, but there's no magical breakthrough, no sudden dramatic improvement. There's progress, and she'd even call it steady, but it's slow. No, she doesn't think he's ready to go back yet.

But, then, knowing what Castiel wants to take Dean back to, Meg's still not sure how she'd ever be able to honestly say that she thought he was ready. Which makes her feel a little disloyal to Castiel. And who is she to say, really, . . . except the person being asked. Castiel doesn't push, though occasionally she thinks she sees an edge of impatience.

Meg mostly keeps to her room the rest of the time, reading and knitting and listening to music, adding to the small but growing collections of books and cassettes on Castiel's desk, wondering what she's going to do with the gloves and scarves and hats she's made. She doesn't start any larger projects -- no sweaters or blankets -- refusing to speculate that she might be here long enough to finish them.

Even though she's starting to suspect she might.
noteful: (neutral happy)
Meg and Dean talk about music, for about five minutes.

Maybe seven.

No more than that.

And Meg does most of the talking, though Dean seems to ease up a little, and once or twice there was something that might have been a faint attempt at a smile, though mostly he just looks tired.

They stay on their respective sides of the doorway.

Still, it's a slightly easier conversation than they've managed yet.

All forward motion counts, right?

Meg goes back to trying to hang her curtains, standing on the desk chair and fighting with the rod. It's one of the many things that would be easier if she were even three centimetres taller.

And, sure, she could probably get them put up for her, somehow, but then she just has to fill the time with something else.

Besides, she thinks she can reach . . .
noteful: (eye of the storm)
Castiel is waiting in the desk chair when Meg lets herself back into her room from her visit to Dean's. She just barely manages to bite back the scream of surprise.

Castiel puts down the copy of Persuasion he's been flipping through and regards her with his usual placid expression. And asks her how it's going.

Meg's not sure what to say. About the only thing she can say with any certainty about her understanding of Dean's current state of mind is that there's nothing she can say with any certainty about her understanding of Dean's current state of mind.

So she makes her best guesses and keeps it a little vague. Dean seems lucid, he's able to write and speak and communicate, if shortly and occasionally hesitantly. She'd call him unsettled (and possibly unsettling) but probably not unstable. He more seemed to tolerate her presence than welcome it. He asked for books.

Castiel nods gravely and asks if she needs anything, and Meg shakes her head. It's not quite true, but she can get the things she needs from Bar, and she likes having an excuse to slip out of the room occasionally.

She has questions she could ask, but right now the answers are probably more things she wants than things she needs, and she's not sure how to ask them, anyway.

She's tired.

Castiel thanks her and tells her he'll check in with her again and vanishes before she can tell him to knock next time.

Meg sighs and puts Persuasion back in the small, tidy stack of paperbacks on the corner of the desk. Anyone who knows her could guess what is in it, three novels by L. M. Montgomery, three by Jane Austen. Her comfort reads.

She has to admit that Dean's choice of reading material is a bit of a surprise. She's not terribly familiar with Vonnegut, really, but from what she does know, she doesn't think it's what she'd want to read in his situation.

Then again, Meg would be fairly hard-pressed to say what she does think she'd want to read in his situation, because she's all-too-aware that no matter how much she tries to comprehend it, she won't be able to.

And she really can't imagine Dean asking for Montgomery and Austen. Or for the yarn and knitting needles in the bag next to the desk.

Nor are the books and the yarn the only things she's added to the room in the last couple days. There's a little round table next to the bed now, to hold a lamp and a small cassette player, and a half-dozen cassette tapes ranging from The Billboard Top Hits of 1986 to Like a Prayer to the Stern/Bernstein/New York Philharmonic recording of Beethoven's violin concerto.

She's added a blue and yellow plaid throw blanket to the foot of the bed, and an electric kettle to make mint tea in the bathroom.

All the things she uses to fill her time.

Maybe . . . maybe she should take some stuff like that to Dean. Not a blanket, that's kind of weird. And she's not sure that either sharp objects or heating elements are a good idea, but . . . but music. And maybe cards? What does she know about what Dean likes?

Meg sits at the desk and thinks and makes a list. Slips downstairs a little while later and returns with a box containing the Vonnegut novels he asked for, the March through September 1989 issues of Motor Trend, a cassette walkman and extra batteries, Journey's Frontiers and Boston's self-titled album and Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti, a legal pad and another pen, a deck of cards, and two one-pound bags of M&Ms, one plain and one peanut.

Rather too much to slide under the door like a note.

She considers taking them to him, or knocking on the door and handing him the box, but . . .

Well, maybe it's selfish, and maybe it's cowardly, and maybe it's not what she should do, but . . .

She's just not feeling up to it.

So instead she writes another note, and sets it on top of the things in the box.

Dean,

Here are the books you asked for and a few other things.

Let me know if you want anything else. I'll be around.

Meg


She knocks very, very faintly -- the kind of knock that's not intended to actually get his attention, but to be just enough of a warning that the door is going to open in case he notices it.

And then she slides the box into his room, just beside the door, and pulls it shut again.
noteful: (ever so very wary)
[From here . . . ]

Meg's not sure what to expect.

It's hardly the first time Castiel has asked her something, or even asked something of her -- there's a baseball diamond out back to attest to that. But she cannot remember anything he's not been able to ask her in the main bar, except for wanting to show her that diamond. And that request had felt very different.

Though he'd whisked her off then, too. She has, in fact, traveled like that just often enough to know that it's slightly less disconcerting if you keep your eyes closed.

Slightly.

She opens them now to find herself in a room she's been in once before. She recognizes the blue and white striped wallpaper.

She also recognizes the woman sprawled in the room's only chair (and it's an impressive feat to be able to sprawl in a simple wooden desk chair), t-shirt inquiring What Would Nancy Drew Do?

Nancy, Meg suspects, would look for clues, try to put the puzzle together, solve the problem.

Meg doesn't need to.

A human girl who finds herself alone in a room with two angels has all the clues she needs to know that whatever she's about to be asked, there's more riding on it than a baseball game.

And that she's not going to be able to put the puzzle together without their handing her the pieces first.

She doesn't even want to speculate about what the problem might be.

Meg takes a deep breath before she tries to say anything.

"Hello, Michael."

At least her voice only shakes a little?
noteful: (neutral not happy)
Her eyelids feel heavy, like opening them would be too much work and it's a better idea to just lie here with them closed and listen to things.

And the sounds are . . . not unfamiliar, but not anything she usually hears with her eyes closed.

Meg is reasonably certain that she has been sleeping, there seems to be a pillow under her head, and she's under some kind of blanket, though she doesn't remember making a decision to lie down. Or to go to sleep. In fact . . .

In fact she remembers deciding to stay awake. Because . . .

Because Alain is . . .

Meg's eyes snap open and she sits up.

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Meg Ford

June 2013

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