Going to See Kim

[noteful]

She takes the time to change back into her own clothes before she goes upstairs. Fairy tale dresses, she has decided, are very lovely in book illustrations, but rather less than practical for everyday wear.

She doesn't exactly rush.

She also stands outside her sister's room for a long moment, turning the key Kim left over and over in her hand.

And then she squares her shoulders, takes a deep breath, and knocks firmly on the door, two sharp raps that sound ridiculously loud to her, in the empty hallway.

Comments

[noteful]

"Apparently, what I am to understand is that any opinion I have ever expressed must be the one I currently hold.

"And that I don't need to know what you think is important, or what you feel you have to do? I only need to know about things that matter much to you when you actually do them, not when you decide when you want to, or decide they matter, only when you know they're possible?

"I'm not going to say that I would have been thrilled with the news that you were moving to England, Kim. It's a long way. But I wasn't mad because you moved. I was mad because you lied about, for months.

"You have to let me react, not anticipate the reaction and try to avoid it.

"And whether it was what you were trying to do or not, it's what you did. As for knowing how I felt . . . at any point, you might have asked."

[bannion_sight]

"I didn't lie about it. I know you don't see it that way, but I didn't lie about it, Meg."

She sighs in frustration.

"I have asked. I've told you time and time again that I'm interested, that I want to hear, that I'd like to know things, that I care, and you keep telling me you don't know if you want to tell me, you don't know if you can risk it, you don't know if you want to say. Gods, Meg, just-- I can deal with you rejecting me if I've got to, the Weaver knows I've lived with things just as awful, but don't stand there and say I'm not asking, that I don't care."

[noteful]

"'For what we have done, and for what we have failed to do,'" Meg says. "A lie of omission is still a lie."

And "gods" is blasphemy.

Meg sets the key on the closest table.

"I'm not rejecting you. I'm just too tired to go through all this again.

"I'm back. And I'm fine."

She starts for the door.

[bannion_sight]

She shakes her head, but--

"I'm glad you're back. And I'm glad you're okay," Kim says to Meg's back.

"Parker is too, right?"

[noteful]

"She is, yes.

"Thank you for asking."

[bannion_sight]

"I'm glad of that, too, then."

A beat.

"Good night, Meg."

[noteful]

"Good night."