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OOM-But-Not
Laura is a good person to ask for self-defense lessons. She's careful and thorough and she's going to make sure you know what you need to know.
(It's just that after one of the lessons in question, Meg occasionally has to remind herself in general, and whatever muscle group is sorest today in particular, of that fact.)
She follows Laura back into the bar, still stretching feeling back into her arms.
(It's just that after one of the lessons in question, Meg occasionally has to remind herself in general, and whatever muscle group is sorest today in particular, of that fact.)
She follows Laura back into the bar, still stretching feeling back into her arms.
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She's thinking Laura, if anyone.
But it never hurts to ask.
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"We were not keeping score."
It would not be fair.
Or useful.
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"After everything with Roe-bear, it just seemed like a good idea.
"She's a very good teacher.
"Hello, Parker."
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Parker had taken lessons through Hearst, herself. But Laura has had a bit more practical experience than any of the coaches in the Athletics Department.
"Ol' Roe-bear hasn't attempted to come out of hibernation, has he?"
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"I do not think so," she says.
She has not caught his scent, anyway.
And Meg would have mentioned something.
Right?
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"I haven't seen even a glimpse of him. And I don't really expect to.
"It's still good to know."
Meg sits down at Parker's table.
"And now I need water."
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"Good. Though now that exams are over, I have much more time to perform a time-jump neutering. If needed."
But better that Roe-bear just quietly fade away.
"So, what have you guys been working on."
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"I have a date."
Because this is something you tell friends.
Right?
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"You do? Laura, that's great.
"With whom?"
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"Wayne."
Beat.
"He is not from my world."
At least she is pretty sure he is not.
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Not that she give any indication of this.
"Bruce Wayne. That's a nice name."
Parker waves Laura to the other empty chair.
"C'mon. Sit down. Tell us about him."
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She only sounds a little hesitant.
And a second later she takes the indicated seat.
"He has been training to fight."
Beat.
"And he does not like killing."
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(She didn't watch the series, doesn't read the comics, and the first movie won't be out till next month.)
"That's good."
The not liking to kill people part. Probably the training to fight part, too, really, when Meg thinks about it.
Those might not be opening points for most people describing a date, but they're very relevant for Laura.
"How did you meet him?"
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"When he was younger."
Beat.
"We talked."
This pause is longer.
"He wanted to practice baseball."
Her recollections are not as disjointed as her recitation of them is.
Go figure.
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Baseball. Fighting. Not wanting to kill people.
Successful relationships have been bases on much less.
"So, he's older now, then? You said he came when he was younger."
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She pauses, flipping through her memory banks to be certain of what she knows.
"I think it has been seven. For him. Or more."
A one year gap, then a six year gap, and then he went home.
She does not know how long that took.
(She did not ask.)
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"So, what are you going to do?
"For your date?"
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Beat.
"There will be sparring. He is not injured anymore."
Unlike the last time they talked about it.
"And there are caves. On his property."
X does not mention dinner.
It is the least relevant of the three possibilities.
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Not that Parker disapproves.
"Which is good. Doing stuff like that on a first date can be a great way to break the ice."
Speaking of important questions...
"So. Is he cute?"
More of a Kilmer than a Bale? A bit of the geeky-cuteness of a Keaton?
Somehow, Parker can't imagine Laura going for a Clooney.
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"Yes."
Beat.
"Other people think so."
It is easy to tell when they look at him.
The way he carries himself makes it obvious, too.
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"Okay," Meg says.
"But . . . do you think he's cute?"
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It shows.
But --
"I like him."
Beat.
"When we talk."
This pause is longer.
"Usually he is covered in dirt."
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Well. He's a spelunker? Presumably it is not a clean past time.
"For any particular reason?"
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Beat.
"Before. And this time he was looking at the caves."
He had a flashlight, too.
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"So he'll be able to show you highlights and features when you go.
"And, really, that you like him and like talking to him is the important part."
It's just nice when you also find them cute.
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But she relaxes a little, anyway.
It is good to have your opinion reinforced.
Especially for new experiences.
Then she falls silent.
Eventually --
"There are things I am supposed to do?"
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"Just, you know. Be yourself. Have fun."
"And if he gets handsy and pushy and you don't like it, kick him in the balls."
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Deadpan.
(She may actually be in earnest. Even if she is not really worried. Bruce has not been pushy before.)
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"Psychologically, for the average guy, Parker's advice might actually have a more profound . . . impact.
"But, yes. Be yourself, have fun, and remember that it's not at all weird to feel a little nervous or awkward on a first with someone, even someone you like."
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Carefully.
Then she nods.
"I think he was nervous, too. Or worried."
Beat.
"Usually he is better at talking."
And that is comforting, too.
She will likely not be alone in the awkward -- at least not all the time.
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"Good."
Hey, he shouldn't be too sure of himself. It is certainly not as if Laura is a foregone conclusion.
"We just want to be sure he's good enough for you."
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She may also look a little uncertain.
"How do you tell?"
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"Well," Meg says, slowly, "if you're on a date with a guy. . . nervous or a little awkward is normal, but you should never be really uncomfortable. He should be nice and kind, and you shouldn't feel pressured into anything you don't want to do or like he's trying to make you feel bad about yourself or your opinions, ever. He shouldn't be a jerk, because you definitely deserve better than that, Laura.
"And, take it from someone who learned this the hard way, you shouldn't have to make excuses for him, in your head, to justify why he's doing something or he's said something, or hasn't done or said something.
"Basically, a guy you're on a date with should treat you with kindness and respect and interest, and if he does, things will probably be okay."
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"And it's okay if you don't know right away, so long as you keep your mind open."
"But yes--basically he should treat you well."
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Beat.
"Like that."
The rest of it?
Who knows. X has no idea.
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"And beyond that . . . you just see where it goes."
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"And I will not forget."
Not any of it.
It is a promise.